Overparenting

[fiona_grady]

The obsession of child-rearing and the annoyance with some of its most, well, annoying, traits must have reached an apogee. Joan Acocella is not simply reviewing a slew of books on the perils subject of the latest trends, she injects some very personal venom. http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2008/11/17/081117crbo_books_acocella


Cannot say I can hold it against her, though. She correctly identifies many variances of the "overparenting" trend, from buying a 3-month old DVS's about Mozart to hiring a private consulting firm three years ahead of a senior year to map the road to acceptance into an Ivy League school. The article is several pages long, supported by many quotations and text excerpts.

However, the gist of it all is summed up in a short sentence:

"...competition between parents (is) thougth to be a major culprit in this whole business. How do you explain to the other mother that while her child spent the summer examining mollusks at marine-biology camp, yours was at a regular old camp, stringing beads and eating s'mores?"

Comments

[vremyavpered.livejournal.com]

ага, but isn't her conclusion is that overparenting's also overhyped? :)

//btw, baby Einstein is on our family's enemy list. Indeed, it is a huge scam, nothing more, nothing less.

i wholeheartedly support most of what she says -- one of the most important of things i know, but tend to forget is the importance of self-play. it's good to be reminded, though....

[fiona-grady.livejournal.com]

For me it was more of a vindication than anything else, really. You see, we are that station in our lives when one can see the actual *results*. Some of our friends who have managed to annoy and bore us for years with their tales of their heroic efforts on behalf of their gifted/extraordinary offspring, are now - after years of paying for a first-rate private education - faced with their newly minted graduates. Hmm. Nothing to be proud of, for now. Schadenfreude all the way!

[vremyavpered.livejournal.com]

*потупив глазки*

да я сама такая вот "newly minted" and nothing to be proud of, for now :((

[fiona-grady.livejournal.com]

Stop living in the LJ and come on down to talk to me in person! :)))

[lairisha.livejournal.com]

I always feel so badly for these poor kids whose mothers are bragging about them being able to hold a spoon at X months (oh, Susie is SO GIFTED!). They will never be able to run around outside and get dirty or just bang some pots and pans together.

On the other hand, I went to a public school and my sister went to a top notch private school, and (at this stage where you can see the results), it was definitely worth it to send her there. My high school was shit, and even though I was in all honors/college-level classes, I still learned about 1/10th of what she did and was totally not prepared to go out there. Like with anything, some things are worth it and some things (like Mozart) you can listen to on public radio. :)

[fiona-grady.livejournal.com]

And yet, you did not do so badly, Irene! But, more importantly, some parents want to make sure that they have covered *everything*: starting with a top-notch, exclusive nursery, continuing with tutors, activities, special camps, etc, - all the way to an Ivy League school. Yet, when reading the resumes of some of the members of the top echelon of the cultural and political elite, one is pleasantly surprised to discover that not all of them have necessarily attended Harvard. And when someone with a middle initial W did, what good did it do exactly ;)

[lairisha.livejournal.com]

LOL, that is true, I did not do badly at all, but the school really shaped my sister's understanding (and the education really was superior). I always felt a good kind of envy that she had the chance to discover all these great things at the time when you are supposed to be discovering them. However, I know exactly what you mean -- in LA, parents fight to send their child to exclusive pre-schools. Superior education for ... 2 year olds??? Always gives me a good laugh (maybe they color with special "smart" crayons?). :D In the end, we are all what we make of ourselves and the opportunities we have. There is a time for everything and you can't hurry it, and neither should you, I think.

[l-sylvanas.livejournal.com]

my Mom is totally this way.

[fiona-grady.livejournal.com]

I think this article has struck a chord with many because they have recognized some of those around them too readily :)