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September 2017

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Jun. 13th, 2017

fiona_grady: (Default)
 One of our friends, let's call him Andy, lives in a very respectable town just outside of the Big City.  Down the street from Andy's house, there is a huge tacky McMansion: the husband is almost always home, the wife doesn't work, the kids are brats, they own big expensive cars, and are always doing improvements on the house.   It is rumored that the guy who lives there is a made man but he never bothers anybody and Andy pays no attention to the gossip mill.

Last summer, there is some plastering going on at the McMansion.  The workers  dump all the plaster into the gutter: it is dangerous and illegal but no inspector or policeman ever shows up to issue a citation.   That summer Andy got a brand new car, and he was not amused to come home and find his car decorated with many impressions of little hands.  Obviously, the neighbor's kids have dunked their hands into the plaster and then proceeded to press them onto the car's sides and windows.  By the time Andy got home, the plaster had set and he had to take it to a body shop to remove.  The detailing cost $ 250, and Andy was, shall we say, perturbed.

Thus, in spite of his wife's protests, he marched to the neighbor's door.  The man was not home but the wife was.  Andy told her that his car had plaster marks all over, and she immediately and aggressively countered:

- "And you think my kids did it?"

Something in her voice made Andy back dial a little

- "No,", he said politely, "I don't think your kids did it' (in his mind he thought: I KNOW they did it because I could see the trail of foot steps leading from your house to my car and back).  But I see that you have some plastering done in your house and the workers do not bother to clean the plaster.  Maybe you can ask them not to dump it onto the street anymore, as it is dangerous and unsightly."

The wife huffed and closed the door, and that was the end of it.

Except it was not.

The following morning, at 5:30 AM, the door bell rang at Andy's house.  When, bleary-eyed, he opened the door, he saw a city inspector standing there.  The inspector said:

- " We received a complaint that the wiring in your kitchen was done without permit and not according to code"

Andy said:

- "The wiring in my kitchen was done 10 years ago with a proper permit, would you like to see it?"

The inspector smirked and said slowly but distinctly:

- "No, I would not like to see it. But I hear that you have a little problem with your neighbor?  You see to it that it stops".

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